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16.03.2020 05:04
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As New Year''s Eve approaches Wholesale Jerseys From China , it''s easy to con ourselves into believing that if we mean it enough, like the New Year''s baby, this time we too can have a fresh start. We''ll lose weight, join eHarmony, go back to school, get out of an impossible relationship Wholesale Jerseys China , change jobs, eat healthier--whatever we think will make us happier. Sadly, even before the last drop of champagne is poured, many of those resolutions are doomed to fail.

Having spent much of my professional career helping people change, I''d like to offer some thoughts about what can really help you make your New Year''s resolution come true. Successfully changing a personal pattern of behavior is not a one-step event. Rather, it is a process that takes time Wholesale Jerseys , planning, practice and fine-tuning.

Think of changing as unlearning an old habit and putting a new one in its place. It is really not very different from unlearning any other habit. If you moved to England, to succeed at learning to drive on the other side of the road you would have to study the situation, make a plan, concentrate, talk yourself through it step-by-step Cheap Nike NFL Jerseys , manage your fears, keep practicing and fine tune your actions. So, too, with self-improvement changes.

Lots of self-help books offer psychologically sound advice. What those books don''t address is how to get yourself to follow that advice in the face of resistant feelings. Yet resistant feelings are almost inevitable, with their implicit message that actually forging ahead and changing our behavior is either too dangerous, too painful Cheap NFL Jerseys , or we are incapable of pulling it off.

The fact of the matter is, such feelings are just feelings, not necessarily accurate measures of reality. Most feelings that block us from moving towards our goals are untested, unsupported, highly inaccurate views of what is real. In other words, feelings sometimes lie to us. But feelings by their nature are compelling Cheap Jerseys From China , so lying or not, they seem believable. That''s why people either unnecessarily give up on the idea of changing, or think they cannot try until they feel ready.

When it comes to personal change, waiting to feel ready is exactly backwards. Successful change requires moving ahead and taking action first. Indeed, the biggest seducer of all for maintaining the status quo is believing we have to feel ready before we can act differently.

Two things your brain believes are what your feelings say is so, even if what they say is untrue Cheap Jerseys , and how your brain sees you behave. Since you cannot turn off those negative resistant feelings (haven''t we all tried!), the only workable strategy left is forcing a change of behavior.

Constructive thinking when pitted against powerful negative feelings is what a colleague of mine calls a boulders and BB''s situation. Resistant feelings are the boulders, common sense thinking the BB''s. Throwing BB''s at a boulder doesn''t chip away much. What will shrink an emotional boulder is your brain observing you engaging in some new way of acting.

So the challenge of personal change is learning to manage resistant feelings and move forward in the face of them. Waiting for the feelings to go away is a road to nowhere. Understanding that these feelings, however powerful, are just feelings not facts, helps a lot. So does knowing it is not dangerous to defy such feelings.

If you have an important New Year''s resolution Wholesale NFL Football Jerseys , I urge you to make 2007 the year you follow through on it. Remember that change takes time, a plan, lots of practice, self-feedback and fine-tuning. Expect emotional resistance, because it''s normal, but don''t let it stop you. You can tolerate unpleasant resistant feelings and still forge ahead.

Finally Wholesale Football Jerseys , keep your sense of humor, avoid self-criticism, and pat yourself on the back for effort. With all that, you and baby New Year can have a lot to look forward to.

(Originally published at GoArticles and reprinted with permission from the author, Marion K. Jacobs).
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